25 More Random Thoughts

I wasn’t a premature baby boy but I am a premature elder, I am alive today just making life hell for others.

2. I had always wanted to be a serial killer but ended up in a finance school. Sigh!

3. While writing, I hold my pen/pencil in a weird way and it kind of annoys people.

4. I usually sleep with earphones in my ears just because I am too lazy to take them out before I sleep.

5. I want to kill a Chinese for their so wide opened eyes: D

6. In 9th grade, I was threatened by my principle to be kicked out of the school for something I was and still am proud of. ;)

7. I am always laughing like maniacs without any reason. It’s hard for others to figure out when I am crying and when I am laughing!

8. I talk a lot and you can call me a WINDBAG!

9. My greatest phobia is myself. You can murder me by just putting a dozen of mirrors in my room, I'll pass out and die, don't do that! It’s cruel! PLZ I beg

10. Who was my first crush; I don’t really remember but I hate YOU!

11. RAZA is my middle name that I got it from my father.

12. If I like a song, I listen to it till I feel like insane and people around me feel like strangling me to death BUT even this all can’t stop me.

13. I seldom studied yet I managed to get through my high school with good grades. My cousins used to think I study 24/7 and it drove my mum crazy because after all she knew the TRUTH!

14. I am living under the delusion that I know everything.

15. I hate slow-walking people and I feel like punching and kicking their backs while walking.

16. I am too much into my boyfriends.

17. I have an enormous appetite but I never seem to put an ounce of weight.

18. I love BLACK color like anything.

19. I hate gold. Yes, I do! I will give you a Silver Ring my engagement J I know it’s weird but that’s the way I am.

20. I am a perfectionist, to an extent of irritating others. I hate mediocre and this is one reason I don't work with people because anything less than perfect turns me off big time.

21. I don't want to get married; if it’s a compulsion to marry one girl: D

22. I pretend not knowing what I know so that I don't end up making people feel bad and I pity such people.

23. I show to the world only what I choose to.

24. I am a LIAR and you can never tell if I am lying or not. I'm really good at it.

25. It really annoys me when people spell LOSER with a double "o". It’s LOSER and not LOOSER Bloody losers

26. I love my family the most, my friends and You J Fattie :P

27. I wrote 27 points just because I was told to write 25 just to show how efficient am I with the writing skills: D.

"Random Thoughts"

Assumptions:

I am a human.

I know myself, by myself I mean the "real" me

I have all my five senses in working positions and I am not numb.

Talking about others is always as easy as to open a tap and I considered opening a tap as an easy task because you don’t have to apply the force you don’t even have to use your arm it just needs a twist of your wrist and to know yourself “THE” real you, is like to discover the new horizons or you can say it’s like balancing an egg on a marble floor. Alas! I wish; you can understand what I mean but you don’t and neither do I wish now…

From the grade 1, I have been writing essays almost in every grade on ‘MY SELF’. But now I can just laugh on my essays, my statements, my immature writings, my childish thoughts, my improper way of expressing and totally random movements of my pen. But now when I was asked to write about my self I find myself at a fix, at a place where there is no way out… A street, infect a dark street with an opening, it seems that the open side is just a step away and when I take that step, the distance, instead of decreasing; it increases. And behind me; I find the world full of people… they are people, not human… you know the difference between people and humans? If not then I am not interested to tell you that because you belongs to people and is not a human.

Coming back to the topic, in that street behind me I find all my family members and friends everyone to whom I ever attach with, but they are not allowing me to get to that light at the end of the street, they are not helping me out.

When I think about myself and my life I find myself in that street with no light in it but the ending… gradually I leave myself numb and stationary like a rock... cant feel and unmovable without outer help.

But the time never stops for anyone… it didn’t stop for prophets; I am nothing but an ordinary one so why would it wait for me…

And that street is like a green mile to me… at times it takes a second to pass and sometimes green mile just takes so long…

Now when I am big… by big I mean, I am not a teenager anymore… I can take my decisions, I can do whatever I want, I can wear whatever I want… I can eat whatever I want… I can go out with anyone I want… I mean I can do anything I want… but there’s a problem I often face, that these things are not in my control. I have said a lot of whatever lately but my life is not in my control, I have no decision powers. Someone is taking decisions at my behalf; good or bad just don’t talk about them right now… some things are better to be left unsaid…

I see a face in that light, not recognizing it; but a feeling of a face, of my very own… people behind me are asking me to not go there but I want to go there and to find the truth by myself but I am confuse I trust the both ends… I don’t know what should I do and where should I go? On whom should I trust and on whom I shouldn’t…

I have 3 siblings. Everyone loves me and I love them too… I wasn’t very special but I always tried to make people happy… people ask me to leave the fantasies I am living in... But I don’t want to leave my world. I want to make my own world… I am ready to do anything for them but I just want to keep my world as I like…

I am not a pessimist but that’s the feeling I have received yet. I also want to be an optimist if the world and the humans in it will allow me to be one.

I am not talking Persian, but I still wonder why people don’t understand me. I try to be as simple as I can be but the people say I am psychic. I know I am not the best but I am not asking world to give me the best but at least try to give me what I deserve good or bad... Just give it to me… just give me my world back…